


Comic-con babes!

by Mystrothedefender



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: >:3c, :3c, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-16
Updated: 2020-07-16
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:54:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25309336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mystrothedefender/pseuds/Mystrothedefender
Summary: Joker attends a batman con, with the hopes of finding someone to spend some time with if you know what I mean ;)
Relationships: Joker (DCU)/Bruce Wayne
Comments: 14
Kudos: 52





	Comic-con babes!

Joker walked down the set of stone steps towards the convention hall.

This wasn’t something he made a habit of.

Going to Batman-cons.

It seemed a bit too self-indulgent even for him, really. Was he really that self-absorbed..?

Yes. Yes, he was.

They were always so interesting in a way he couldn’t quite describe.

There was something so lovely about seeing people walking around dressed as him, or as Batman, or one of the other rogues.

They would come up to him as if he were a celebrity, ask if they could take his picture.

The Batman cosplayers would fawn over him, it was so enthralling, having them follow him like puppies... some of them all too happy to do whatever he wanted them to…

And he could walk around like a normal person; buy food without the cashier looking terrified, talk to people without them fearing him. Which was a nice change of pace.

He walked through the large glass doors, and was hit by a wave of noise and heat and smell. He quite liked it, it felt chaotic.

He walked through, watching heads turn, eyes piercing him.

What a good way to inflate an ego.

He looked around, picking out the best looking Batmans… Batmen? Was the plural of Batman Batman..?

“Yoohoo,” he called sweetly, waving over at a small group of them, “Boys! Who wants a piece of me?”

They shuffled awkwardly on their feet, chattering amongst themselves. Joker placed a hand on his hip as he watched them, amused by them, it was adorable how shy they all were.

“No one?” Joker asked, pouting.

A girl emerged from the crowd, dressed in an ill-fitting poison ivy costume. “Guys please!” she begged, her voice whiney but sweet, she singled out one of the Batmans(Batman?) “John, I _need_ this.”

“Babe, no,” the Batman whined, the tinny quality to his voice making Joker’s stomach turn.

One of the Batmans(Batmen?), separate from the group, came over to him, acting a lot more confident than the others, trying to act in character infront of the pretty girl Joker guessed.

“Hello, handsome,” Joker purred.

“Joker,” the Batman growled.

This one had the voice dead on, and the suit was almost perfect.

Joker smiled at him, looking him up and down, “Aren’t you a sight.”

The corner of Batman’s lip turned up into a small smirk, “You don’t look too bad yourself.”

The girl squeaked happily, “Oh my god,” she cooed. “You both look awesome!” She pulled away from the group of Batmans(Batmen?) and kneeled on the floor, trying to find a good angle for a picture.

“Could you kiss his hand!?” she asked gleefully.

Joker let out a soft chuckle, he rocked back on one foot, reaching out to take Batman’s hand, giving it a soft and slow kiss, looking into his eyes as he did.

The girl let out a squeak, and within a moment 3 other people had joined her, their phones out.

“Batman, get on one knee like you’re proposing!” one of them near yelled, excitement in his voice.

Batman flashed Joker a smile before getting down on one knee. Joker felt his pulse quicken as he looked up at him, taking his hand.

“Do you want me to look indignant or happy?” Joker asked the photographers.

They all yelled different answers at one.

Joker scoffed, “Useless, the lot of you,” he growled, opting for an overemphasised ecstatic reaction, his hand on his cheek as if he were surprised, the photographers and onlookers laughing at the sight.

They posed for a few seconds before breaking apart.

“The next one will cost you,” Joker grinned at the crowd.

He watched as Batman got up, he certainly did look good in that suit.

“Joker,” Joker said to introduce himself, holding out his hand to shake.

Batman took his hand and shook it, smiling softly, “Batman,” he said in return.

Joker laughed softly, “Oh, I would never have guessed.” He let his eyes rest on Batman, dragging over him.

“Would you like to get some food?” Batman asked, a soft purr to his voice that Joker had never imagined could come from Batman’s lips.

Joker let out a weak chuckle, taking a moment to debate his options. Usually he would wait a little longer before picking a Batman he liked and pairing off, but this one… He did look exceedingly good…

“You know, I think I would,” he replied, imitating Batman’s close-to-seductive tone. “There’s a place that does chocolate coated strawberries,” he suggested, “They’re to _die_ for.”

Batman’s nose wrinkled, “I’m not really one for sweets.”

Joker pouted, “Truly in character.” He tutted, “Ok, how about… a hotdog? I’m sure you eat those,” he smirked.

Batman let out a soft hum, giving a small nod. “Sure. On me?”

Joker’s smirk turned into a full smile, “Oh,” he cooed, “I do like you.”

He lead the way towards one of the food carts that lined the main hall, looking back at Batman as he walked, “So what brings you here?” he asked.

Batman shrugged, “I enjoy the cosplayers, and the art is always very interesting.”

Joker bit his lip as they got in line, “Oh, the art… I saw the nicest piece of the Gotham skyline last year, batsignal in the sky, I would have gotten it if I had a more permanent residence, somewhere to hang it.”

“I hope you have somewhere now.”

Joker shrugged, “Nah, I don’t like staying in one place for too long… What about you?”

“I live in the house I grew up in, inherited it,” Batman informed him.

Joker let out a weak hum, “That’s interesting.” His eyes flit over Batman again, “Do you… live on your own?” he inquired.

Batman shook his head, “I have a son who lives with me.” His voice seemed a little stiff, Joker could tell he was prying in a way Batman didn’t want him to.

Joker nodded, taking his stiffness as an indicator that he should stop asking personal questions. “What would you like on your hotdog?” he settled on asking.

“Just mustard,” Batman replied.

Joker smiled, “Ah, a man after my own heart.” He raised himself onto his toes as they got to the front of the queue, leaning over the counter a little as he ordered for them both.

Batman pulled a wallet out of one of his many belt pockets, paying in cash.

“Are you here on your own?” Joker asked while they waited for their food.

Batman nodded, “I don’t have any friends who are interested in this kind of thing.”

“Do they think it’s _problematic_?” Joker asked, smirking.

Batman nodded, letting out a soft huff.

“Mine too,” Joker chuckled. “They hate all this, they think it’s tacky junk.”

He picked up his hotdog and took a bite, and Batman took his in turn.

“I love these,” he said, his mouth full.

Batman chuckled weakly, “I don’t think I’ve ever had one from here,” he said before taking a bite.

“Really?” Joker choked, swallowing hard, “Never? They’re amazing, right?”

Batman nodded, taking a seat at a flimsy plastic table nearby, “Best hotdog I’ve had in a while.”

Joker sat down opposite him, looking him up and down, studying how muscular he was, “You seem like the kinda guy who watches what he eats, I’m gunna guess it’s been a while since you last ate a hotdog.”

Batman shrugged, putting his elbows on the table, “…I won’t say that’s not true.”

Joker let out a harsh laugh, his grin splitting his face. “Oh, I really do like you,” he said softly. “Wanna walk around the art alley after this? You don’t have anywhere to be, right?”

Batman let out a slow breath, his eyes trailing over Joker’s body as he took another bite of his hotdog, Joker couldn’t help feeling as if he were being mentally undressed, after a few seconds he nodded.

Joker let out a soft titter, “Did that nod mean ‘I want to walk around artists alley’, or ‘I have somewhere to be?’ …I hope it was the latter.”

Batman swallowed his mouthful of food. “I meant that I’d love to look at art with you.”

“…You make it sound like it’s a date?” Joker purred.

“Well…” Batman said, somewhat awkwardly.

“I don’t usually do dates,” Joker continued, “But I could see myself making an exception for you.”

Batman opened his mouth as if to talk, then closed it, and swallowed hard.

“What?” Joker chuckled. “Do I have mustard on my face?”

Batman smirked, “No I, uh,” his smile faltered a little, “I was going to say… we could skip the ‘date’ part, and go up to my hotel room.”

“Oh?” Joker purred, “That’s a little forward…”

“You can say no,” Batman added smoothly, “I’m sure looking at art with you would be lovely.”

“But if we do that first you’re going to spend the whole time… not focussing on the art?”

“Exactly.”

Joker nodded slowly, contemplating how exactly he wanted this day to go. Usually it took a little longer than this to find someone who he liked, and they certainly wouldn’t invite him up to their room quite so quick.

It had been, what, half an hour? And already he was being propositioned?

It was too good to pass up.

Especially with someone who had the Batman character and costume so on point.

Although of course, the real Batman would never do this with him.

“You do this quite often, don’t you?” Joker asked.

Batman gave another small shrug, “Does it matter?”

“A little,” Joker shrugged back, “I like to feel special…”

Batman smiled, exhaling softly through his nose in an almost-laugh. “I won’t lie to you,” he said softly, “I do this sometimes. But I’ve never met someone who’s put as much effort in as you.”

Joker let out a soft laugh, “What a lovely compliment. Of all the painted ladies I’m the most painted?”

“I did mean it as a compliment,” Batman assured him.

“I’m sure you did.” Joker let out a huff, wiping off his hands and leaning back in his seat, crossing his arms. He looked Batman up and down. “Ok,” he said softly.

Batman smiled. “You don’t sound sure.”

“No, I’m sure. I’m just not used to you bat-boys being so upfront.”

Batman’s mouth twitched, “Saying that makes you sound like you do this quite often too.”

Joker let out a weak chuckle, holding his hands up in mock surrender, “Ok, ok, you got me. I do… partake, from time to time.”

“But you were judging me?” Batman asked.

“Aw, I’m sorry, Bats, do you want to feel special too?” Joker let out a soft laugh.

“Everyone likes to feel a little special sometimes,” Batman said to defend himself.

Joker’s laugh rose, tipping his head back a little. He let out a soft ‘aw and reached out to take Batman’s hand, lifting it to his hand to kiss his knuckles, “Oh, darling, you are special,” he purred.

“I’m not convinced,” Batman smirked.

“No one has ever pursued me before,” Joker confessed, “Usually it’s me doing the chasing. It’s fun but, tiresome,” he said, rolling his eyes.

Batman nodded, letting out a soft hum, “I feel like people expect me to be the one initiating. I enjoy it, though.”

Joker smiled softly, “I’m happy to have such a handsome Batman chasing after me.”

“Handsome?” Batman asked, a soft shade of pink coming to his cheeks, “How can you tell?”

Joker let out a weak chuckle, “I mean I _do_ have functioning eyes, Bats.” He leant his elbow on the table, a hand on his chin, “What I can see of you looks incredibly good. Can’t wait to see more of you.”

He got to his feet, holding out his hand to gesture for Batman to follow him. “Lead the way,” he said, a sultry tone to his voice, his eyes dragging over Batman’s armour, his chest swelling at the thought of taking it off him.

A smile came to Batman’s face, soft and gentle, for some reason it reminded Joker of watching the sunrise. He followed Joker, gradually moving ahead of him, leading him out of the convention centra and back up the stairs, to the large hotel opposite.

Joker let out a soft hum as they entered the building, he’d never stayed in this one, it was one of the ones that filled up within a moment of the convention dates being announced, one of the ones you only got if you were rich and determined.

They got into the elevator, and were on each other the second after the door closed.

Joker made the first move, biting his lip softly before throwing himself at Batman, pressing him against the wall, pressing their lips together.

He had never kissed a Batman with lips so soft.

Batman’s hands moved to his hips, pulling him close, the clawed fingers of his gloved hands digging into the purple material of Joker’s pants. He moaned weakly against Joker’s lips, his mouth opening and inviting him to deepen the kiss.

Joker tilted his head, his tongue dipping into Batman’s mouth, his arms wrapping around Batman’s shoulders, a hand trailing up to Batman’s cowl, taking hold of one of his ears, using the appendage to pull Batman closer still.

Joker felt his hairs stand on end as Batman bucked his hips forward, deliberately grinding against him.

“Batman…” he tried to groan, the word getting lost in their kiss. He closed his eyes and let himself soak up the feeling of Batman pressing against him, their mouths and bodies intertwining.

It still didn’t quite feel close enough.

The elevator doors opened, and they broke apart, panting. Batman took his hand again and dragged him down the hall, fumbling with one of his pockets, pulling out his keycard.

The door buzzed open, and Batman pulled Joker into the dark room, slamming him against the wall, their foreheads pressing together as he leant in for another kiss.

And Joker realised why Batman’s smile had reminded him of the sunrise.

He felt Batman still.

Felt his own heart…stop…

Maybe he was just imagining it.

No… He knew better than that.

“It’s almost daybreak…” he heard himself say, the words leaving him like they were muscle memory.

“Then you should go while you can...” Batman replied, his voice equally soft, breathy.

Joker felt a breath leave him, taking with it all the heat in his body. He pressed himself against the wall, closing his eyes, squeezing them closed, he didn’t want to see the look on Batman’s face.

He felt Batman take a small step back, and then heard the door.

He kept his eyes closed.

**Author's Note:**

> A cumulative idea from the batjokes discord I'm in I love all yall you're amazing


End file.
